Saturday, June 19, 2010

6:16 PM - No comments

Me Time!!

It has been a long time since I have written about something that is truly haunting my mind. 

It Just occurred to me a couple of days back, that two years back, a friend suggested blogging to me as a means to de-clutter my mind. Being a person who thinks a lot, and is still one the verge of being a scatter brain, I found that this process really helped me out a lot. Slowly and steadily I realized that I have a knack for writing. Then came along buzzle and it just polished up the writer I had in me. 

Today, I am more cluttered than I have ever been. The irony of the situation is that I don't even know the real reason for it. Sometimes I blame it on the change of circumstances. Losing dad has changed my life, in a way that it can never come back to normal. Not having dad to look at when there is something that only he and I will find logical, can be upsetting. Why don't I just get used to it already?

Other times I blame it on Murphy. I'm telling you. When Murphy came up with the law "If something can go wrong, it will", he was thinking of me the whole time. Honestly, it is not something to be proud of. Actually it is something to be really mad about. Why is it, that a month after my bike gets services and ready to roll that someone has to come around and steal the kick?Once that is settled, why then should I be paranoid all the time? It is silly, it is so funny, that its brinking on fiction now!

I need a break, I guess. Not from work, not from friends, not from family. I need a break from me. I need to spend some time in intellectual vacuum. I really think that will need to some self realization and a feeling of cal and tolerance that I have found missing since the past 4 months.

How do I achieve this vacuum? Intensive work out! Yes, run for longer than you think you can, and dance like you are made out of rubber. I have learnt, in the earlier years of my life, that when I push my body beyond its limits during work out, is when i get them most calm feeling ever. High time I get back to that!

I miss you dad! More each day. I will not make that a reason for life pulling me down. I am going to win this battle. Now more than ever, because now I know you watch over me all the time!