Saturday, January 5, 2013

Self Communication- An Intelligent Solution

Gone are the days when talking to yourself was considered as being a sign of being mentally deranged. Self communication is actually considered to be a sign of genius now.

Talking to yourself can help you in a major way:

One of my life coaching clients had a very common problem of not being able to voice out his problems. Being the youngest in  a very strong headed family, the habit of "keeping everything in" caused his much discomfort as well as health problems.

While talking to me, his life coach, did help him, it is not exactly the same as saying it then and there. In order to make his start voicing out his issues, and enouraged him to first have an imagined conversation with himself. In this conversation, he would say exactly what he wants to. He would imagine the listeners reaction and (because it is all in his mind) stand up to it.

Slowly, he got more and more comfortable with this pattern. I then asked him to have the conversation with himself out loud, when alone. Hearing his own voice, when standing up for himself was something that took him time to get comfortable with. He had discussions with his father, brothers, mother and even some acquaintances. All with himself. He was now desensitized (to some extent) to the concept of speaking up.

The next step was the toughest. I asked him to politely speak up the next time he feels wronged. The whole time telling himself that "whats the most they can do? Say no? I still need to voice myself". When he did it the first time, he stammered and perspired. His father was taken aback at his son's "audacity". But to my client's delight, his father heard him out and agreed.

Slowly his confidence increased. His communication improved. He was still the considerate, pleasant man as before. Only now, he had a voice of his own too. This helped him with his personal relations as well as his profession!

See, talking to yourself can help "take it out" many a times. Try it out. Even if you are already confident and vocal, you may need to often try out a conversation before you really have it. Self communication is helpful for that too.

If you need more help, contact me!

posted from Bloggeroid